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How to Fix Your Life Pt.2:
​Relationships, Family, Social Life

​Speak to a treatment specialist now. Call: 1.855.970.2547

Call 1.855.970.2547, 24/7 to speak to a treatment specialist for free. Get help finding the best treatment options available for yourself or a loved one. Rehab centers, detox centers, inpatient, outpatient programs, therapy, counseling, sober living housing and more. A 5 minute phone call is all it takes to get you the help you need. Get help now. Call: 1.855.970.2547

​How to fix your life Pt.2: Relationships, family, social life:

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By Jorge (George) Fernandez
If you've been hooked on heroin for any length of time at all then there's a good chance that you've managed to cause some type of damage in your relationships. Whether you've caused problems in the relationship with your friends, your family, or your boyfriend or girlfriend in some form or another, the damage has been done.​ 

And if you have then maybe now's the time to start making things right. That's the only way that you're going to be able to fix your life, is by making amends, and making things right with anyone that you have hurt in any way.

​How to fix your relationships:

If you’re living with your parents then great! Wonderful! At least you still have your mother, your father or both by your side. If you still have your wife, then consider yourself fortunate. If you still have your husband, then consider yourself fortunate as well. If you still have your children, then consider yourself and your children very, very fortunate. And if you still have your family in tact then count your blessings, because the family is the most important thing in the world.

Yet sometimes, teens and young adults get kicked out of the house and rightfully so because they either robbed their parents clean in order to support their drug habit or their parents simply did not put up with their addiction any longer. Many husbands lose their wives because they choose to use heroin instead of reaching out for help. Many wives lose their husbands because they choose heroin over their spouse. Many mothers and fathers as well, lose their children because they continue to use heroin instead of trying to do what’s best for the kids. And many addicts lose their entire families because they continue to use heroin instead of reaching out for help.

It happens every day. Lives are ruined and families are destroyed, each and every day, because that’s what heroin does – it destroys lives and tears families apart! And although for some of you, it may seem to be too late to get your family back, you’ll still want to try your best to make things and then hope for the best possible outcome. But whether or not you get your family back, you still have to do your best to make things right. And you can begin to make things right by quitting heroin, staying clean, and turning your life around. You have to change before you can attempt to fix your relationships, otherwise you’ll be giving them the same person all over again, and most likely, they deserve better than that.

Depending on the severity of your relationship problems, and whether it be marital or family relationships, you’re going to have to work on it one step at a time. But in the mean time, you have to get heroin out of your life first. You’re going to have to prove yourself first. You’re going to have to prove yourself to your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your woman, your man, your children, and to your entire family as well. Prove yourself, apologize and then ask for forgiveness.

You’re going to have to prove to all those looking on that you are indeed a changed man, or a changed woman, before they can even begin to trust you again and allow you to have a significant part in their lives. Furthermore, you’re going to have to prove yourself in action and in deed, instead of meaningless words and empty promises. In other words, don’t talk – just do it! Don’t tell people you’re going to quit heroin and change your ways. Just do it! Do it first, and you wont have to talk. Walk the walk first, and you won’t have to talk the talk. And sooner or later, they’ll know you’ve changed your life by your actions and your deeds. And then you can begin to make amends, slowly but surely.
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​How to fix your relationship with your parents:

​For those of you who have broken your mothers’ heart or have become a disappointment to your father, you’re going to have to quit heroin, stay clean, and turn your life around before you can begin to win their trust back. 

And if you’re living with your parents now, then you’re going to have to live a transparent life giving them no reason to doubt you on anything. And no matter how hard it gets, you’re going to have to remain honest with them in all things, no matter what. 
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​Because that’s the only way that you’re going to win their trust back, is by begin honest and becoming an honest person. You’re going to have to come to the point to where no matter what your parents ask you, they’ll know that you’re going to tell them the truth from here on out. And for a parent, there’s no better feeling in the world than having an honest son or an honest daughter. The rest is all secondary; because honesty is the most important thing the world. And if you really want to do things right, then you may want to consider coming clean to your parents as well.

​If you’ve lied, cheated and stolen from your parents at one time or another, then the only way to begin to make things right is by coming clean, and asking them to forgive you.

Then make a vow to them and to yourself, to do your best to make things right, start living right and start doing so right away. If you owe them money then hurry up, get a job and start paying them back in one form or another. But that’s just what you owe them. Then there’s a matter of restitution, which is going the extra mile to make things right. You’re going to have to do a little extra on top of what you owe them, in order to make things right. 

For example, cleaning the house, yard work, washing the car(s), fixing things around the house, buying them gifts, taking them out to eat and things of that nature. Furthermore, if you’re living with your parents, then you’re going to have to live by their rules no matter how old you are. And if they don’t put rules on you, then do everything you can to show respect to them and their home. Do everything you can to show them the respect that they deserve, and in doing so, you will begin to win their trust back and their confidence as well. And after this, don’t ever let them down again.

And for those of you whose parents are drug addicts or alcoholics, my heart goes out to you. But if you’re still in contact with your parents, and they’re still hooked on heroin, then you can quit heroin, stay clean, turn your life around, and maybe someday, you can help them quit heroin and change their lives as well. But no matter what, at least you’ll be able to break the curse, once and for all. Because “parents who use drugs, (usually) have children who use drugs”. And many times, that’s exactly what it is - is a curse, passed on from one generation to the next. But now, you can break that curse and do your best to make sure that the next generation in your family remains drug-free. This is your chance to do something great in your life, so please, don’t blow it!
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​How to fix your relationship with your partner:

​If you still have your wife or husband by your side then consider yourself very fortunate. Because some times, heroin addicts lose their partners for good. And if you still have your girl or man by your side then you can consider yourself lucky as well. Because most drug-free women won’t put up with that kind of stuff, at least not for too long. And most drug-free men are not that forgiving as well.

But if you lost your wife, your husband, your girl, your man, or even your children, then don’t give up hope yet. There may still be a chance to get them back, or at least salvage the situation to a fair degree. 

But the longer you take to quit this drug and turn your life around then the worse things will get and the lower your chances will be for fixing your relationship with your partner. But we can start by talking less, and doing more. Talk is cheap, and actions speak louder than words.
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​Furthermore, for many people, our word may no longer mean anything to them. So the best thing to do is to quit this drug first, and then literally, turn your life around to such an extent, that the change will become evident within your life. Quit dope first, stay clean, and then get your life back on track. And if you want to increase your chances for things to work out in your favor, then you might want to make it a goal to quit all mind altering drugs, once and for all. Because to be honest, that’s the only way that you’re going to be able to fix your life to the fullest extent possible, is to quit all drugs once and for all and begin to live a clean, decent, healthy life.

Because I’m telling you right now, there is a formula to help fix your life. And part of that formula is to quit all drugs, once and for all. And then you can start from the beginning. Get a job. Get 2 jobs if you have to. Start making and start saving money. And if you got kids then start sending some money for your kids as well. But whatever you do, don’t chase your partner just yet.

Quit dope first. Stay clean first. Get your life back on track first. Become an honest man or an honest woman first. Prove yourself, apologize and then ask for forgiveness. And then hope for the best and let life take care of the rest. If you and your partner were meant to be then sooner or later, things may begin to change. And in the mean time, all you have to do is work hard, stay clean and remain on the right path. And no matter how lonely you feel at the moment, it would be best to remain single for the time being as well; because if you start getting involved with another women or another man then your chances of winning your partner back diminish greatly.
However, if you stay clean and remain on your best behavior, then sooner or later word will get back to them. And sooner or later, they’ll find out that you truly have changed and that may cause them to change their minds as well. And someday, they may just come looking for you, or sooner or later, you may cross paths. 

However, if there’s absolutely no chance of winning your partner back, then don't worry and don't let it bring you down.

​It could be that it just wasn't meant to be. And you can use this experience as the greatest lesson of your life to help you and teach you to never do this or any such thing ever again. 
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You can use this experience to help you become a better man, or a better woman. And if you have children with them, then at least do your best to help them and be involved in their lives as much as you can, or as much as they allow you to do so. No matter what, your kid(s) need their real father and real mother in their lives because no one will ever love them the way you do. But your child needs a new, drug-free dad, or a new, drug-free mom and anything else is unacceptable.

But if your children want nothing to do with you; if your ex wants nothing to do with you; or if your whole family wants nothing to do with you even after you’ve changed and turned your life around, then don’t worry, and don’t let it bring you down; instead, move on with your life and keep pressing on and keep moving forward and become the best man, or the best woman that you can possibly be; because with or without them you’re still going to do the right thing in your life no matter what may come your way. And who knows, maybe some day, life will reward you with a new family as well.

​Some of us may have done a lot of bad things in our lives. And some of us may have caused a lot of damage along the way. But what matters most is how you live the rest of your life from here on out. You can’t change the past, but you can sure change the future. And the best thing to do is to do your best to live a clean, decent, honest life from here on out, no matter how the situation turns out.
​

​How to get your children back:

If Child Protective Services has taken your son, daughter, or both, then there’s only one way to get them back. And that is to quit heroin, stay clean and turn your life around. And when it comes to motherhood, the only way to prove your self fit to be a clean, decent and responsible mother is to quit all drugs once and for all. Because that’s the only sure way to get your kids back, is to quit all drugs and change your life. Otherwise, you may never get to live with your kids again.

If your parents have your children and you’re allowed to see them at least on the weekends, then hurry up and quit this drug so that one day you can have your kids living with you once again, because that's where they belong - with you, the parent(s). And if the mother or father of your child has taken your child away because of your drug use, then hurry up, quit this drug and get your stuff together. Otherwise your child will never have the life that they were meant to have. ​But the longer you take to quit this drug and change your life as well, then the worse things can become. And whether you realize it or not, people die as drug addicts. 
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And many times that’s how and why they become statistics, is because they put drugs first before their children. And as a result, they themselves fall by the way side, become a statistic and are never heard from again. And believe it or not, these types of things happen every day. Because that’s what heroin does. It ruins lives and tears families apart.​

Don’t let that happen to you. Don’t allow yourself to become another statistic. If you’re a mother, then your child deserves a drug-free mom. If you’re a father, then your child deserves a drug-free dad. No matter who you are or what you’ve done, your child deserves a clean, decent, drug-free parent. And the best thing to do is to stop thinking about yourself, and start doing what’s best for your kid(s). And the only sure way that you’re going to get your kids back is to quit all drugs and turn your life around. And then hopefully, they’ll be right back where they should be, right there with you, together, as a family.
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​How to fix things with the family:

And when it comes to the family in general, the only way to earn their trust back is to quit all drugs and change your life completely. Because people who keep using drugs, never really change. Therefore, prove yourself, in action and in deed by quitting all drugs and changing your life for good.

Prove yourself, apologize and then ask for forgiveness. Then you can begin to make amends by making things right with every member of your family. It may take time, but it can be done. And I realize that some of you may want to quit heroin, but continue to smoke weed, get drunk and party on the weekends. But sooner or later, or as you get older, you’re going to realize that the best thing you could have ever done with your life was to live a clean, healthy, drug-free life. And the sooner you realize this, then the sooner your life can begin to change. And who knows what may happen next. Who knows what life may have in store for you. But the sooner you get clean and stay clean for good, then the sooner you’ll find out. And no matter what, I guarantee you that a drug-free life will be better than the life you have now.

But no one is going to force you to quit drugs. And no one is going to force you to change. That’s a choice you have to make on your own. But if you make the right choice and choose the right path, then I promise you, your life will never be the same again.
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​How to fix your social life:

​Common practice will tell you to get out there and make new friends. Yet this can also become a hindrance to your recovery, your personal development and to your whole life as well. 

You would be much better off allowing new friends to come into your life instead of going out of your way to meet new people. And here’s why:

“Birds of a feather flock together”. And if you’re trying to change your life, then sooner or later, life will bring you together with people who are trying to change their lives as well, or have done so, and want to help you do the same.
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So you may be better off to be patient and allow life to bring the right people into your life. And if you’re trying to change your life then it may already be happening whether you realize it or not. But beware. Because if you still want to party, get drunk and smoke weed, then sooner or later, those same types of people will be right back in your life once again; especially if that’s the type of thing you’re looking for. Everything depends on what you really want to do with the rest of your life.

If you simply want to quit heroin but continue to party then most likely, your life will never change in the truest sense of the word. You may have fun, or what may seem to be fun on Friday and Saturday night, but by Sunday, you’ll be feeling empty and bored once again. And for the rest of the week, you can’t be alone and can’t wait for Friday to come around to do it again. That gets old after a while, even when you’re young. And sooner or later, as you mature in your personal development, some of you are going to begin to feel out of place in such settings. Because the more you try to change, yourself and your life, then the more uncomfortable you’re going to feel in such settings around such people.

They may be nice and may be friends, but if they’re not trying to change then you’re not changing either. Because “birds of a feather flock together”. And I would much rather be around bad people who want to change, than to be around good people who are actually bad people in disguise and will never change at all.

I have no problem being around drug addicts and drug dealers, as long they want to change. I have no problem sitting with liars and thieves, as long as they want to change. And I have no problems sitting and eating with ex cons and prostitutes, as long as they want to change. But if people don't want to change, then we have no business being around them. If your friends don't want to change, then separate yourselves from them.

If you have a family, then that’s all you really need. You don’t really need to bring outsiders into your inner circle around the people you love, especially people who you just met. And some of you may be better off just staying close to your family. But if you have no one to be around and you need to be around people then you would be much better off meeting clean, decent, people in a group setting such as the gym and participating in group classes such aerobic classes, running groups, biking groups etc. You’d be much better off in a group of health minded people in a controlled and positive environment than the opposite.

If you’re going to go to college, then you’ll have a chance to interact with the other students in a controlled and educational environment and for the sake of furthering your education.

​If you’re going to attend NA or AA meetings then you’ll be able to interact with people there as well, some of which may have the same goals as you, and that is to quit drugs and turn their lives around. As long as it’s positive and takes place within a like minded group, then you should be ok. And sometimes, good friendships can come from such places.
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​How to be alone:

​Heroin addiction is sometimes tied to relationship problems or the feelings of loneliness and/or the absence of a companion. Yes, it’s ok to be alone, but you must learn how to do so in a positive and productive manner. 

Sometimes, loneliness can cause you to seek out old friends or even new friends who have the same or similar bad habits which you have, or used to have, which in turn will have a negative impact upon your recovery and your whole life as well. And often times, when x-heroin addicts find themselves alone, they turn back to drugs once again. 

​Furthermore, to avoid being alone, some people will tag along with any group that will accept them, even if they have to take part in destructive behavior in order to prove their membership to the group. When you’re trying to fix your life and stay clean at the same time, you need to learn how to spend time by yourself constructively and without desperation.
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Being alone allows you to become more conscientious about your thoughts, your behavior and how you carry yourself about. You’ll get to see yourself for who you really are and all those areas you have to work on as well. Yet even such a thing as being alone requires skills to do so. Therefore, in order to avoid boredom, discouragement and relapse, it’s important for you to learn how to be alone.

It’s important to learn how to be by yourself without allowing yourself to get bored and depressed. And you can do so by making yourself a “things to do list" and keeping yourself busy throughout the day and into the evening as well. And with internet access, that shouldn’t be too hard to do. And believe it or not, you can have a full life by simply waking up in the morning, going to the gym, then going to work or out to find work, or go to school during the day, or in the evening as well. Gym in the morning, followed by work and then school is enough to keep yourself busy all day and into the evening while giving you plenty of opportunity for human interaction. And that’s just an example. 

You can create a much more exciting life for yourself as well. So in reality, you wont be alone all the time if you create and plan your days wisely. And part of the goal in being out and about is to improve your ability to function in the real world and to learn how to deal with others in a controlled and civilized manner, without the use of heroin.

You need to learn how to deal with work, family and free time in order to have a successful recovery and be able to fix your life. And it’s important to place yourself in environments which support sobriety, such as gyms, work and school, all of which support sobriety and help you to move forward in life. And when it does come time to be alone, then you need to find things to do in order to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied as well.     
     
You can pick up books and start reading. You can start reading about careers, business, finances etc. You can start reading about drug addiction and drug counseling just in case some day you may need to help your fellow man quit heroin and change their life as well.

Start filling your mind with good things and eventually good things will come about.

You can begin to write as well and then learn how to build websites and publish your writings online. You can even start building websites to make money online as well. You can take up a hobby such as learning an instrument, drawing, painting, fishing, hiking, biking, running, gardening, building models, photography, archery, baking, cooking, knitting, poetry, learning another language, visiting the library, playing video games and other things as well. So there are plenty of things to keep you busy while spending time alone.

You can always buy a pet as well. You can get a cat, a dog, or whatever you wish. But a pet can keep you company, give you someone to talk to, and at least this way you wont be alone when you’re home. However, many people and x-addicts, just can’t handle being alone and as a result seek the companionship of another man or another woman. Guys go out to look for women and women accept the first thing that comes along. But doing so can turn out to be a big mistake. And one of the first things they teach you in NA is to refrain from starting new relationships in order to avoid the possibilities of relapse. And sometimes, heroin has a way of making its way back into your life through a new boyfriend, or a new girlfriend who was or is using and eventually may bring you down as well.

So if you’re still single then relax - you’re fine. You’d be much better off fixing your life first, than to worry about finding a companion. You’d be much better off getting stable and saving some money before starting a new relationship. And for now, it may be best to just focus on working hard, making money and becoming stable once again, while maintaining your sobriety as well. Focus on changing the person you are into the best person that you can become. You can use this time for “change”. And for now, the best thing to do is to stop looking and allow life and circumstances to bring the right person to you, when the time is right.

There's nothing wrong with being single. It may be the best thing for you. And if you’re doing your best to change your life, then sooner or later you will be rewarded, in one form or another. 
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​Read more: Part 3 on How to Fix Your Life->


​​Speak to a treatment specialist now. Call: 1.855.970.2547

Call 1.855.970.2547, 24/7 to speak to a treatment specialist for free. Get help finding the best treatment options available for yourself or a loved one. Rehab centers, detox centers, inpatient, outpatient programs, therapy, counseling, sober living housing and more. A 5 minute phone call is all it takes to get you the help you need. Get help now. Call: 1.855.970.2547

​Donate: Support the cause. Support this website:

If you feel that my website has helped you and you'd like to show your appreciation and support me on my mission to help people quit heroin, stay clean and turn their lives around then please feel free to make a donation below. I'm very grateful for your support. Being supported by you allows me to dedicate my time to helping people quit heroin and change their lives.  To make a donation via PayPal or credit card, please click on the Donate button below. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it.
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Go to home page, main article index page: Read more->

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