And most importantly, we need to change for the sake of others so that someday we can help others to change and become better people as well. But in order to help others to change, we need to change ourselves first. And believe it or not, people change, we can change, and you can change too.

In order to change, we have to first see ourselves for what we really are, how we are and come to the realization that we have to change. Then we have to have a goal to shoot for. We have to know what kind of person we want to be and then try to become that person, by all means necessary.  And the most important goal of every person who wants to change should be to become a better person – a good, honest, moral person; and to live a better life – a good, honest, moral life. And if we can change in these areas then everything else will eventually fall into place.

​However, becoming a better person is not that simple, and will most likely become one of the greatest battles you’ll ever have. But if you want to change, if you want to become a better person, and you’re determined to do so no matter how hard things get, then believe it or not, you can change, and your whole entire life can change as well.
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In order to begin the process of change we need to identify those areas which need to be changed the most and then work on those areas as best as we can. And one of the most important traits to have in our lives is honesty.

Honesty is one of the most important things in the world. And without honesty we have nothing. And if we want to change and want to change our lives, then one of the first things that we need to do, (if we haven’t done so already), is to become 100% honest in everything we do and with everyone who comes our way. And honesty means, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, in any way, shape or form.

Now I realize that some of you may not lie, cheat or steal, or manipulate others for the sake of gain. But believe it or not, even good people could turn to such measures during desperate times of need. But for those of you who have failed at one time or another, don’t worry and don’t let it beat you down, for there may still be hope for you yet ,and you can still change to become an honest and trustworthy person. And after becoming an honest person, your life will never be the same again.

Morality is another area of our lives where we may need to change as well. This world is going downhill faster than ever before and morality is becoming non-existent. But we don’t have to follow the crowd. We don’t have to follow the trends. And we don’t have to accept and become what society wants us to be. We can be different, and we can be and become good, moral people from here on out.

Mannerism, our character, our attitudes, how we act, how we talk, how we live our lives, even how we think and what we think about can all be changed as well.

Humanity, kindness, and compassion for others and how we treat others is also very important and may be another area where we may need to work on as well. Because how we treat others is how others are going to treat us. And more importantly, how we treat others is going to have a long lasting affect upon them, and quite possibly, for the rest of their lives.

And there are other areas where we may need to change as well. And if you have areas in your personal life that need to be changed, then you may want to note those down as well. However, honesty, morality, how we act, how we live, and how we treat others are the most important areas in our lives. And changing in these areas is going to determine what we become and how the rest of our lives turn out.

Pride however, is the number one reason why most people never change and many times, fall. And this is another area where we may need to check ourselves less someday we fall too. If we think we’re something, if we think we’re just great, wonderful, awesome people then most likely we’re not. People who think they’re great, are really not. And people who think they’re not so great are more likely to change and become better people than those who think they already are.

People who think they’re something, (prideful people), are blind to their own actions and attitudes and are in fact the worse kinds of people to be around. Rarely do they ever change. And people who think they’re nothing, (people with low self esteem who think lowly of themselves), are in fact the best kinds of people to be around. And these are those who are most likely to change. So if we think we’re something, then now’s the time to realize that maybe we’re not, if of course you want to change. And if you think you’re nothing, then believe it or not, you’re in a lot better shape than what most people are.

What does this mean for us? This means that if we want to change then we're going to have to begin to see ourselves as nothing special in order to become better people and accomplish better things in our lives. Trust me on this. We have to see ourselves as nothing special in order to begin to change. I realize that may sound wrong and contrary to what most people may think and believe, but that’s just the way it is. We have to see ourselves as nothing before we can become something. So the first thing we need to do is to get rid of pride, self pride, and then we can begin to change. 

And how do you do that? First, by telling yourself, “it’s not good to be so prideful, it’s not good to think I'm really something, it’s not good to think so highly of myself”, and then begin to catch yourself, watch yourself and put a stop to any such behavior and attitudes whenever they may begin to arise. It's wrong to look down on anyone else. But if we find ourselves looking down on someone else then we can stop ourselves right away and look at ourselves instead, our faults, our lack and everything else that is wrong with our own lives instead.

This is how we begin to change; is by seeing what is wrong with ourselves and then making a conscious and deliberate decision to catch ourselves and do our best to put a stop to these attitudes and behavior in our lives. We have to actually tell ourselves, “this is wrong, don’t do it, or don’t act this way”. And the more we begin to do so then the more we begin to change. And then we can begin to replace those behavior patterns with the opposite of such, such as meekness and humility. Once you remove pride, then change can begin to occur. 
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​​We can also change by changing what we take into ourselves and reprogramming our minds which can eventually help us to change what comes out of our lives. And we change by making a decision to change and keep on trying to change no matter what may come our way.

Honesty is one of the most important things in the world. And without honesty, we have nothing. If you want to be honest, then be honest. But not just sometimes - all the time. We come to the place in our lives where we realize that being dishonest in any way, shape or form is wrong, so we stop doing wrong, we stop being dishonest and we start doing right by being honest, completely honest, in every area of our lives, and continue to remain honest no matter how hard things get.

If you have a problem with lying or occasionally telling a lie, then force yourself to stop lying and start telling the truth - always. Being honest is one of the most important things in the world. And a person who is honest and tells no lies is priceless. And as long as you start and try to remain honest no matter what the costs may be then eventually being honest can become a habitual form of life for you, and the very thought of being dishonest will begin to trouble you.

Manipulating others for the sake of gain is another form of dishonesty. And if you find yourself telling people your problems with the underlying intentions of manipulating them to help you out then most likely you won’t get any help at all. And whatever help you do manage to get will be here one day and gone the next.

If you find yourself telling people your financial problems for the sake of financial gain then the best thing to do is to stop yourself right there and then and change the subject at hand.

It’s OK to seek financial or other advice on how to handle a particular matter, if indeed advice is what you’re seeking, but it’s wrong to tell people our problems in a manner in which we purposely manipulate them to help us out. It’s wrong to manipulate anyone for the sake of financial or any type of gain. The best thing to do is to do everything we can to work out our own problems and do our best to work hard and provide for our own needs.

If you steal, or have stolen before then the right thing to do is to stop stealing and never steal again. Sometimes, drug addiction can lead some people to steal. And if you’ve stolen something from someone then the right thing to do is to return the item plus the dollar amount of what it’s worth or pay them back double for what the item is worth. For example, if you stole and sold your mothers’ necklace for drugs then you must do everything you can to get that necklace back, and on top of that give her extra for what it’s worth. And if you can’t get the original necklace back then you must do everything you can to replace it with a new one or give her double the dollar amount of what the original item was worth. This is called "restitution". This is how we make things right, along with a sincere apology and a lifelong commitment to never steal again.

We never lie, cheat or steal no matter what. Even if we’re starving, we never lie, cheat or steal from anyone. And as long as we remember and practice these things, then eventually, things can begin to change. Our whole lives can begin to change.

Several years ago, when I used to live on Margarita Island, I received a package that was accidentally mixed into my bag of packages that were mailed to me from the U.S. When I got home, I opened the package and it had a book in it. I opened the book and low and behold money started falling out of it – lots of it. My first thought was, “wow, I’m rich”. But immediately I contacted the intended recipient of the package just to let them know exactly how much money was in the book and that I would be returning the package to the mail service center immediately.

He offered me a reward but I didn’t accept. It was my responsibility to return that money to its’ rightful owner with or without reward. He received his package along with the money and everyone was happy. However, what would have happened had I kept the money? Sooner or later, someone would have stolen double that amount of money from me. Or, I would have lost it through some other form of difficulty in one manner or another. Because everything we do comes back to us in one form or another.

Not too long ago, I found a new, professional stethoscope in the parking lot of a 7-11 convenient store. I turned it in to the 7-11 cashier and sure enough later that day the paramedic who lost it came back for it and was so happy and thankful to get it back. Shortly after that, I rented a car for the weekend and went to the mall. And after visiting a few stores I was on my way back to the car when I realized that I had lost the keys to the rental car. There was no way that I was going to be able to get a replacement key to the car at that time of night. I didn’t even have the phone number for the car rental help center. I went to every store that I had visited in the mall frantically before the mall closed to see if someone had found them and turned them in - but no luck. Then I remembered I went into JC Penny’s to try on a pair of sneakers and sure enough that’s where I had lost the car keys. Someone had found them and turned them in. I was so relieved and so thankful and went on my way as happy as can be.

Now, what would have happened if I would have kept the stethoscope or sold them on eBay for a couple of hundred dollars? Most likely I would’ve never retrieved the car keys and would have been stranded at the mall. Furthermore, I would have kept on having problems until I made an attempt to make things right. Now that little incident may not seem like a big deal for some, but it was a big deal for me. And it was a reminder for me as well that we reap what we sow, even in the little things. Everything we do comes back to us in one form or another.

The following is an excerpt from a counselor friend of mine and is just one more example of many different forms of honesty:

“Years ago, I'll never forget, I bought a case of mackerel, 48 cans. I went home, and while going over my receipt I discovered that the clerk thought it was the 24-can box and only charged me for 24 cans. Even though it was in the middle of the night, I jumped right back in the car, took the case back to the store several miles away, went in and asked for the manager, took it up to him, showed him my receipt, and told him I owed him for 24 cans. He says, "It looks like you got a good deal." I said, "Yeah, I got a good deal, but I don't want a good deal. I want to pay my bill." He said, "You are sure going to make things bad for us if you do." I asked, "Why's that?" He said, "Because it is going to confuse everything. It has already gone through the system." I said, "It has not been that long." He said, "Everything goes straight into the accounting department. We are going to have to go back and try to answer for the fact that we are putting this in. It's going to confuse everything. Take it and be thankful for it." So, what if I had stood back at home and thought, "They'll just tell me to keep it, anyway"? Am I going to be in the same shape….? No. But you might say, "It's a lot of trouble to have to do that just to be told you have to keep it." Well, it's pretty good wages. I think the mackerel at that time was 89 cents a can. You figure it out: 89 cents times 24 cans. It didn't take me that long to go back to the store and check on them. I came out fine, but I wouldn't have if I thought, "That's tough. They made a mistake. It's not my fault. It's their fault. So I'll keep it, and that's it." LDA

Everything worked out for him. And if we become and remain honest, completely honest in every area of our life then everything can begin to work out for us too.

A dishonest person who remains dishonest in any area of their life will never change at all, and in time can actually become much worse than what they are now. But a dishonest person who wants to be honest can change and become an honest person from here on out. And in the end they will be greatly rewarded. You, will be greatly rewarded, and your life will never be the same again.

We are what we are today based upon our past; how we were raised; the people we were raised with; the people we’ve come across; the company we’ve kept; the decisions we’ve made; the things we’ve done, both the good and the bad, and how we’ve been treated by others; our experiences in our lives, both the negative and the positive yet the negative having a more profound and lasting effect. And we are what we are based upon what we’ve taken into ourselves, i.e. the music, movies, TV, what we read, etc. All of these things and more have programmed our minds and our personalities to become what it is today.

But the good news is, is that our minds are just like computers and we can reprogram our minds just as well. We can begin to replace old input from the past with new and better things, just like a computer. And this applies to every influencing factor in our lives.

​So how do we change? We begin by letting go and separating ourselves from old friends who influence us in a negative manner and replace them with new friends when those new friends come into our lives. We separate ourselves from bad friends and replace them with good friends who can have a positive effect upon our lives. However, we don’t have to go out looking for new friends; for sooner or later they will come into our lives in one way or another. And if we’re trying to do the right thing in our own lives then eventually we will find ourselves with people who are trying to do the right thing in their lives as well. We reap what we sow in everything we do.

The same applies to movies and TV shows as well. If we watch indecent and immoral movies and TV shows then in time, we become indecent and immoral people. For the most part, Hollywood is devoted to indecency, and their goal is to program our minds to become foul, immoral and violent people through the means of TV shows, Reality shows and movies. They use these actors to program our minds on how to think, how to act, how to talk, how to feel, how to dress and how to live our lives. And thanks to Hollywood, TV shows, Reality shows, and movies as well, this generation is going downhill faster than ever before and at a much younger age. And believe it or not, it’s going to get even worse as time goes on.

Music is another influencing factor that has a greater effect upon our lives than what most people realize. And most people don’t realize this but you become what you listen to the most. If you listen to bad music on a continual bases then eventually you become just like the people who create and perform such music. And most of today’s rap, rock, pop, metal and R&B music are some of the worst types of music that you can listen to and is created and performed by some of the worse types of people in the world. It may sound good to the body and the soul, but it’s much more destructive than what most people realize, and eventually it will destroy you from the inside out. And believe it or not, it’s very difficult to change and become a better person, an honest, moral, kind hearted person by continuing to listen to such music today.

Please note: I'm not saying that all rap music or all rock music or all pop music is bad. In fact there's a lot of real good music out there. But good, clean, uplifting music with a positive message is hard to find these days. And music is a major key that can quite possibly even change your life. Yes, the right kind of music can actually change your life!

But it’s not just the music, it’s the artists and the industry and the forces at work behind the music as well.

A lot of today’s most popular songs are performed and promoted by indecent, immoral and messed up people. And if we keep listening to music performed by indecent and immoral people on a continual bases then eventually we become indecent and immoral people ourselves. We are what we take into our selves. We become what we listen to. The music will permeate you and eventually penetrate your soul. It will transform you into what that music is. And a lot of today’s music is transforming people into the worse people ever. Furthermore, when you listen to such music, the forces which influence and promote the music will arrive where you are and surround you and in time influence your life in a negative manner.  We become what we take into ourselves. But if we listen to good, clean, decent music, performed by good, clean, decent people, then it can help us to become good, clean, decent people ourselves.
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So how do we change? We change by reprogramming our minds; by taking in good things into our minds and letting go of the bad. We stop taking in bad things and replace them with good things. We stop taking in bad TV and replace it with good TV. We stop taking in bad music and replace it with good music. We stop reading bad material and replace it with good material. And what we take into ourselves will greatly determine what kind of people we become. Honesty and decency are the keys for becoming a much better person and having a much better life, no matter how hard things get. And living in such a manner will change your life forever - guaranteed.

This is a higher form of living, although it may appear to be extreme to some, but it is also the most rewarding form of living as well. But I promise you, that if you do your best to live a clean, honest, decent life then you will be greatly rewarded, you will change, and your life will change as well.

​Love and kindness is just as important as honesty and decency. You can be the most honest person in the world, but without brotherly love for your fellow man we have nothing. You can be the most moral person in the world but without love, kindness and compassion for others we have nothing. Genuine love and kindness would like to love everyone. And this is one of the most important reasons why we have to change, is so that we can have a positive and profound effect upon everyone we have a chance to have an effect upon. And you can have a great effect upon people’s lives just by showing them love and kindness at all times – brotherly love.

The most important thing that we can ever do in our lives is to be kind, loving and compassionate to everyone who comes our way. Not just to the ones we already love, such as family members and friends, but to everyone who comes our way, even when they do us wrong. And this is something that I'm striving for as well. I'm no different than anyone else. But I'v learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way.

How we treat people is so important - not only how you treat someone on the outside, (anyone can 'act' nice to you on the outside), but how you treat them from the inside, how you really feel about the individual from within, is just as or even more important than how you treat them from without. Be kind to everyone - but what comes from the heart is what matters most. And what comes from the heart, what is truly from the heart, will eventually manifest itself from without, whether good or bad.

How do we become kind and loving people? It all starts in the mind, and the heart. And we can begin by telling ourselves repeatedly that it’s wrong to be mean, cruel and evil to people and it’s wrong to mistreat anyone in any way, shape or form. It’s wrong to yell at people. It’s wrong to swear at people. It’s wrong to speak to anyone in a harmful manner. It’s wrong to mistreat anyone in any way, shape or form. And we can vow to ourselves to refrain from mistreating anyone and then begin to practice love and kindness to everyone who comes our way. Even if you don't have it in you, we do it because it's the right thing to do.

Not only can we tell ourselves repeatedly that it’s wrong to mistreat people, but we can also remind ourselves that if we do mistreat others then not only will we hurt them but it will come back to us in one form or another. Because if we mistreat others then sooner or later, others will mistreat us. In fact, it’s wrong to even think about another person in a negative manner as well. And if someone has hurt you at one time or another then thinking about that person in a negative manner can become a hindrance to your personal development and to your peace of mind as well. But when you’re by yourself for example, and thoughts of anger, revenge or violence come to mind, then we can begin to battle those thoughts and throw them out right away. We have to actually stop ourselves and tell ourselves to, “stop! don’t think about those things”, over and over again and then push those thoughts out of our minds right away.

It’s not good to remain angry. It’s wrong to take revenge. It’s wrong to think about violence in any way, shape or form. And the longer you stay mad at anyone or anything then the more negative you become, and the harder it gets to return back to your normal state of mind. But if you begin to battle against those negative thoughts right away and do everything you can to push them out of your mind then you can remain positive and can keep your sanity as well. And you’d be much better off to battle your thoughts throughout the day and remain positive than to continue to think on angry and negative thoughts and become a negative person. And I realize that all of this is easier said than done but if you begin to practice these things on a daily bases, if you begin to battle against your thoughts when negative thoughts come to mind then you will begin to change and your life will begin to change as well. And the more you practice these things then the more aware and conscientious you will become of yourself, and your effect upon others. 

We can also change how we act, how we think and how we feel by changing what we take into ourselves. For example, you can not become a kind and loving person by watching UFC fights on TV. You can not become soft hearted by watching violence on TV. Even certain types of music can cause people to become cold hearted and violent people. The world doesn’t need tough people. The world needs soft hearted people who are ready and anxious to show kindness to everyone who comes their way.

The damage has been done, and someone has been hurt. And the only way that that damage is going to heal is if you go to that person, apologize and make it right.

​​That’s the only way that you’re going to make things right, restore the relationship and gain their confidence back is to humble yourself and apologize with a sincere and genuine apology and make things right. And if at all possible, if you're really sorry, and feel bad about what you've done, then you may want to bring them a peace offering as well, such as a gift or baked goods for example.

Most people don’t go home thinking “man, I can’t believe I allowed myself to treat that person the way I did”, simply because most people don’t care or they’re just not conscientious enough to realize what they did and how they treated that person was wrong. But if they don’t make it right soon then the relationship will change and sooner or later they’re going to get treated in the same manner in which they treated the other person, until of course you make it right and change. And believe it or not, people change. We can change. And you can change too.

If someone has done you wrong or mistreated you in any way, shape or form, then the best thing to do is to forgive them and let it go. But unfortunately, doing so is easier said than done. It’s hard to forgive when someone has done you wrong. And you may have to forgive the same offence over and over again. It’s hard to forget when people have mistreated you, and many times, it’s those negative treatments that stay with you for life. Time does heal, but a sincere and heart felt apology can bring down the barrier, remove the hurt and do away with grudges as well.

​Most people forget when they do you wrong, but it’s hard to forget when they do you wrong. But we still have to do everything we can to let it go, and maybe some day, they will change. And if at any time you begin to think about how someone mistreated you or did you wrong then you can begin to battle those thoughts and push them out right away. You may actually have to tell yourself to “stop, don’t think about those things”, over and over again and then push those thoughts out of your mind right away. And if there’s anything good about that person, then think about those things instead.

Love, kindness, forgiveness... brotherly love. Living an honest, decent, moral life. What a way to live. What a goal to shoot for. Certainly not easy, but definitely worth striving for, and it will change your life forever. And if you begin to put them into practice then your life will never be the same again. 
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​We change by first seeing and realizing our need for change. We change by learning what is right and what is wrong and then begin to strive to do what is right while doing our best to refrain from doing wrong.

We change by trying to clean up our lives in every way that we can and become the best person that we can possibly be - a kind and loving person.

We change by separating ourselves from those who live contrary to the way we want to live and attach ourselves to those who want to live right.

We change by changing what we take into ourselves, TV, music, movies, etc, and replace them with good things, positive things, and things that help us to change.

We change by going to battle against thoughts of dishonesty, indecency and inhumanity and think about thoughts of honesty, decency, love, kindness, compassion and forgiveness. And we change by doing these things and practicing them each and every day.

We change for ourselves and we change for others. We change not only for our sake but even more so for the sake and benefit of others so that some day we can help others to change as well.

We change by making a firm decision to change and we keep on trying to change and do the right thing in our lives no matter how hard things get. And no matter how many times we fail, we get back up and try again and keep on going till the very end.
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Start going to battle against wrongful thoughts.

Start fighting against thoughts of dishonesty. Start battling against thoughts that are wrong or negative in any way, shape or form.

Start telling yourself, “stop, don’t think about those things” over and over again, and push those thoughts out of your mind right away. Start telling yourself, “that’s wrong, this is wrong, and I’m not going to do it”. And start telling yourself, “I’m going to do the right thing in my life, no matter how hard things get”. Keep telling yourself these things, over and over again.
 
Start telling yourself and remind yourself daily that “we reap what we sow. And if I do wrong now then sooner or later I will pay for it, it will come back to me. But if I do right then I did the right thing”. And always remember that life is a process of sowing and reaping, and everything we do, whether good or bad, will come back to us in one form or another.

Start thinking and start speaking in a positive manner that is uplifting to you and to everyone around you. Start trying to be more positive in everything you do and everything you say.

Start being honest, completely honest in everything you do, in everything you say, and with everyone who comes your way, no matter what the costs or loss.

Start trying to live a moral life in every way possible no matter how difficult it may seem to be.

Start making amends and restitution to the best of your ability. Start trying to make things right with anyone whom you've done wrong. And try to forgive those who have done you wrong and try to let it go.

Start treating others with love, kindness and compassion. Start showing more love to family members and friends. Start giving them hugs, side hugs and show them how much you appreciate them. Start showing kindness and compassion to everyone who comes your way. Start doing these things and practicing them each and every day.

Start battling against unhealthy habits, such as drugs, smoking and drinking, and anything else that does not contribute to the process of change. And start taking care of yourself and improving your health as best as you can. Start eating healthy. Start taking vitamins. Start doing some form of exercise.

Start thinking about others and helping others and changing for the sake and the benefit of others. Start conquering problems in your own life and help others to do the same in theirs.

Be aware and keep tabs on yourself, your thoughts, your attitudes and behavior. You may even want to start a journal to keep track of your daily thoughts, feelings and actions in order to monitor your progress.

Continue to feed your mind with good things while refraining from feeding your mind on the bad.

You can even begin to brainwash yourself and you can start doing so now.

Repeat after me…

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

I’m going to become an honest, moral and kind hearted person.

And let the process of change begin.

Brainwash yourself. Reprogram your mind. And do everything you can to change. Keep doing these things and practicing them each and every day. And if you can’t change where you're at now or if you simply want to start a whole new life all over again somewhere else, then move, relocate - move to somewhere new. A fresh new start in a whole new environment may be just what you need to do in order to change and to start a whole new life all over again. But whatever you do, don’t stand still. Don't remain the same. Take action, and begin to change.

No matter what you've done or how low you may have come, you can still begin to change. It’s ok to feel guilt. It’s ok to feel shame. Because it’s the guilt and the shame that causes us to change. And as long as we keep trying to change, then our lives will begin to change. And no matter how hard things get, no matter what may come our way, we keep on trying till the very end. Because believe it or not, people change, we can change, and you can change too - starting now. Good luck my friend, and may the good force be with you.

Sincerely,
Jorge (George) Fernandez 
Over 20 Years Clean from Heroin 
About Jorge (George) Fernandez
Contact Jorge (George) Fernandez
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