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How to Help Your Son or Daughter Quit Heroin Pt.2
 
PART 2 (If you haven't done so already then please read part 1 first.)

Step 8. Determine how your child is going to quit heroin


How they quit depends on where they stand in the matter. If your son or daughter came clean to you and reached out for help on their own, then great! Wonderful! Be thankful.

You’re more than half way there. And you’re in a much better position than most parents are.
As long as they want to quit and are ready and willing to do so then you can present them with options for quitting. i.e. cold turkey, warm turkey, Suboxone, etc. However, if the problem with your child and heroin has been going on for some time and they just can’t seem to quit, nor even wants to, then some sort of inpatient treatment may be the best option for them. And this is usually the case with most heroin addicts who just can’t seem to quit, or simply don’t want to.

But even in situations such as this, you can still offer the addict options as well as most addicts are simply not willing to enter inpatient treatment by force. And in this manner, they can be given chances so that they are without excuse. If they fail with one option, then it’s on to the next. In other words, if they can’t quit heroin cold turkey, for whatever the reason may be, then it’s on to warm turkey. If they can’t quit heroin in that manner, then it’s on to Methadone or Suboxone. And if they fail to quit and stay clean in that manner, then it’s on to short term detox accompanied by counseling, meetings etc... And if they still cant stay clean in that manner, then it’s on to inpatient, residential treatment.

But of course that’s a matter which needs to be handled between you and your child. But if they live in your home then you have the final say in the matter - not them. And if inpatient, residential treatment is the only way, then inpatient, residential treatment it is!
      
  Step 9. Approach your child
Before speaking to your child about quitting heroin it would be best to spend 30 minutes or more alone, in silence, preparing yourself, meditating and thinking of how you're going to conduct yourself and what you're going to say.

Think about what 'words' you’re going to use to inspire, motivate and encourage your child to take action in their life and allow you to help them quit heroin and stay clean for good.

And although everything might not go as planned, you'll come pretty close if you’re well prepared beforehand.

Try your best to become 100% completely calm. Remove all anger, resentment, and frustration.
 
  Think on thoughts of when your son or daughter was just 7, 10, and 12 years old. Think of how they used to be before this heroin addiction took over, and hold on to those thoughts when dealing with your child. That is the child whom you are going to attempt to save and bring back to life.

Furthermore, to get the best response from your son or daughter, you will have to plan on a time where the both of you can talk in a private setting without any interruptions whatsoever. You will also have to try your best to catch your child at the perfect time, when he or she is neither sick from heroin withdrawals, nor too high from the heroin itself.

For example; first thing in the morning may not be the best time to talk to your child if they haven’t had their fix as of yet. They’ll be sick from the withdrawals and the only thing on their mind at that moment will be to get that first fix of the day just to feel normal.

Likewise, it may not do you any good to sit and talk with your child when he or she is high and sedated on heroin. They might start nodding and fall asleep on you while you’re speaking to them. You'll have to watch for the signs and get them at the right moment, possibly 1 to 2 hours after their first morning, afternoon, or last fix of the day.

Making an appointment with them may or may not work. They might get scared and not show up at all or continue to do everything they can to avoid you. For the most part, if your child is living within your home then you should already be aware of their normal behavioral patterns and daily routines.

Again, how you proceed from here depends on whether or not they already came clean to you and reached out for help. And if they did come clean and asked you for help then it would be best to move as quickly as you can, while doing and saying everything in a kind and loving manner.

Show them their options for quitting, along with your resources as well. Then explain and go through each option one by one.
       
Plan A (Resource 1): Quitting Heroin Cold Turkey: Show them the printed (or online) articles on “How to Quit Heroin Cold Turkey” along with “How to Survive the First 7 Days along with my website as well.

Plan B (Resource 2): Quitting Heroin Warm Turkey: Show them your list of 1 or 2 local, family doctors who are ready to prescribe your child Valiums, Xanax, and/or Tramadol or whatever type of anxiety and pain medication you can get. You can also show them my article “How to Quit Heroin with Meds” which
includes the section on “Quitting Heroin Warm Turkey”. Let them know that this is just a short term method that is a lot more comfortable than quitting heroin cold turkey.

Plan C (Resource 3): Quitting Heroin with Methadone or Suboxone: Show them your list of 1 or 2 private family doctors who are ready and willing to provide your child with a short term prescription for Methadone or Suboxone. And show them your list of 1 or 2 methadone clinics which offer Methadone and/or Suboxone (or Subutex) as well. You can also show them my article “How to Quit Heroin with Meds” which includes the section on “Quitting Heroin with Methadone” and my other article “Quitting Heroin with Suboxone”.

Plan D (Resource 4): Quitting Heroin in a Drug Rehabilitation Center: Show them your list of 1 or 2 drug rehabilitation centers that are ready to take your child in as soon as possible. You can also show them my article “How to Quit Heroin in a Drug Rehabilitation Center”. And if you were able to obtain pictures of the facilities then show them the pictures as well.

Plan D Detox (Resource 4.2) Quitting Heroin in a Detox Center: Show them your list of 1 or 2 detox centers along with counseling programs that are ready to take your child in right away to begin the detox. Let them know that this will take 5 to 10 days and may be done with a short term Suboxone program so it will be almost painless as well.

Then simply ask them, (in a kind and loving manner) “ok son (or daughter), what’s it going to be?”

Then be quiet and let them talk.
       
 
If they make their choice right there and then, then great! Wonderful! Get started right away. Start cold turkey, take them to the doctor, or take them to rehab or to the detox center right away. If your child makes a choice right there and then, then get started right away.

If they start making excuses or try to leave then you let them know that hey, “look son, (or daughter), you came clean and told me you wanted to quit and that you wanted help. We now have help and a few, painless solutions for quitting. So if you really want this, then let’s get started right away!”
And sometimes, it can become just like sales. Let them get through all their excuses and then deal with those excuses, one by one, fast. But don’t buy into or give into any of them. Your main objective is to get them to take action right away.

And again, if they came clean on their own and made it clear that they want to quit and asked you for help then you shouldn’t get too much resistance, (if they really meant what they said).

However, it’s also important to understand that at this point, part of your child may be in panic mode. Part of them may want to quit, but part of them may want to use just one more time or even forget the whole thing.

Don’t fall for it. Do everything you can to keep the process moving along to the next step as quickly as possible, (before they change their mind and leave).

However, if you have to confront your child for the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time, then that can become a little more complicated and will require a little bit of patience as well. You’ll still have to try to do everything in a kind and loving manner, but you’ll also have to be firm as well.

Same as above: Before approaching your child, try to find some alone time where you can begin to think about how you’re going to approach your child and what you’re going to say, (in a non-confrontational manner). Remove all anger and resentment and think about the good times before the problems with drugs came along. Think about what your child was like without the drugs in the picture. And then proceed accordingly.

Be on the lookout for the perfect opportunity to talk to your child. And when the time is right, then move in for the save.
    
In a kind and loving manner, but in a firm manner as well, cut through the small talk and get right down to business. You can open up with, “I know what you’re going through. I've been doing some research on the subject of heroin, heroin addiction, and how difficult it is for someone to quit heroin. It seems almost
impossible."

"I have also been reading and learning about what you go through while going through withdrawals, the vomiting, the cold chills, the diarrhea, the back pains, the leg pains, the bone pains, the anxiety attacks, everything, and it's horrible. I'm starting to understand how you feel and what you go through and I'm very sorry that you have to go through all of that.”

Then you make it real clear to them; “You don’t have to go through this any more and I want to help you quit this drug, once and for all”.

Your next move depends on what they do next from there.

If they submit themselves and stay put to listen then great! Wonderful! It’s a miracle! Then as quickly as possible show them their options and let them know that “we” can do this right away. Make it a “we” thing so that they know they’re not alone.

Show them your resource list for:
 
Plan A (Resource 1): Quitting Heroin Cold Turkey
Plan B (Resource 2): Quitting Heroin Warm Turkey
Plan C (Resource 3): Quitting Heroin with Methadone or Suboxone
Plan D (Resource 4): Quitting Heroin in a Drug Rehabilitation Center
Plan D Detox (Resource 4.2) Quitting Heroin in a Detox Center
       
  Give them all the details, procedures etc. Explain everything to them as quickly and as thoroughly as possible in a step-by-step manner and see what they do from there. And if they agree and choose one of these methods right there and then, then get on it right away.

However, if after you approach them, they begin to get upset, and start denying everything or claiming sobriety then you can take out your home drug test kit and have them take the test right there and then. But if you already know they’re using, then there’s no need to argue with them, nor test them no matter what they say. And if they keep on denying it then you can simply tell them, “look, it doesn’t matter what you say. I know you’re using and this is how things are going to go.”

“I’m going to give you a choice”:
 
Plan A (Resource 1): Quitting Heroin Cold Turkey
Plan B (Resource 2): Quitting Heroin Warm Turkey
Plan C (Resource 3): Quitting Heroin with Methadone or Suboxone
Plan D (Resource 4): Quitting Heroin in a Drug Rehabilitation Center
Plan D Detox (Resource 4.2) Quitting Heroin in a Detox Center
     
  Let them know that you can no longer allow drugs and drug addiction in your home. You’re not going to allow “wrong doing” to take place within your home. And you’re not going to continue to house and support them as long as they’re doing wrong.”

And then ask them, (in a kind and loving manner) to please accept your offer for help.

You can’t force them to quit drugs but you can force them to make a choice: Quit heroin or leave the home. And unfortunately for some of you, this is what it might come down to; otherwise, nothing will change.

If they begin to argue in any way, shape or form then let them know that “it’s either one of these options or…. leave the home.”

“You need to make a choice, right here, right now.”

“What’s it going to be?”

“Get help, get clean and fix your life, or… leave the home”.

Then be quiet and let them speak or make their next move.
      
(Most professionals and interventionist will offer only 2 choices: inpatient, long term, residential treatment or total cut off from the family. And many times, this may be the only hope for some addicts. However, forced inpatient treatment doesn’t always work for everyone. And some times, the addict is more likely to cooperate and choose an option when given the freedom to do so. And at least this way, you’ll be giving them a chance to get straightened out by choice, and not by force. Furthermore, they are now without excuse.)

If they continue to argue during the process then let them continue for a minute or two, (but don’t give into the argument). And then one more time, repeat yourself again.

“Make a choice, right here, right now.”

“What’s it going to be?”

If they submit themselves and choose a plan, then get it on it right away. Start cold turkey. Start warm turkey. Call the doctor. Make an appointment. Take them to the clinic. Take them to rehab. Take them to detox. Whatever plan they chose, (and whatever plan is feasible), get on it right away. And then keep moving forward.

It’s very possible, that if you did everything in a kind and loving manner and presented their options for quitting as clearly as possible (presentation is everything), then they just might take you up on your offer for help. They may already be sick of their lives and may see this as a way out. And that would be the best case scenario.

However... if they refuse to listen to reason, or they walk away, or simply walk out the door, then let them go. (They may think you’re bluffing, or not. But they may need time to process the information as well. And with that kind of pressure, they may feel the need to take off and get high). But while they’re gone, or while they’re still there in your home, start packing their clothes in a suitcase or in a garbage bag right away. Show them you mean business, only if necessary, (and without yelling). Include their tooth brush, tooth paste and deodorant and put it all right by the door. If they’re still there during this process and continue to refuse to cooperate then open the door for them and tell them (in a kind and loving manner):

“Last chance. What’s it going to be?”

If they leave, then let them go. It’s going to be the best thing for them. There’s a good chance that they went out to use one last time or one more time before reality begins to sink in. But if they know that you’re serious then they’re going to have to make a choice: Heroin or the family. The streets, or home.
       
Many parents will not be willing to send them on their way. But you also have to understand, that when it comes to heroin, most addicts will only seek help when someone or something pushes them out of their “addiction comfort zone” and forces them into a decision. And as long as you do everything in a kind and loving manner, (yet while being firm as well), then that’s what you may have to do in order to shake them and wake them up.

However, if you’re so angry with your child that you just want to kick them out for good then don’t do it, otherwise, you’ll be doing it out of anger and not out of love. And if you do it out of anger then it may not help at all. You would be better off to cool down and calm down first, before approaching your child again.

But if you don’t want to do it and would rather not have to deal with it, then that may be the best time to send them on their way, (again, only if necessary). Because if we do so when we’re not angry then we can do so out of love and in hopes that the child will wake up and change their mind and accept your offer for help.

Heroin addicts with access to money, a place to live, and housed by parents who continue to put up with their drug addiction rarely seek help. They “don't have a problem” and see no need for change. But once the pressure’s on then they have to make a choice: Heroin or you. Keep using heroin or stop the madness and change. And only you can help make that happen. Only you can help them make a decision to change. The ultimate decision is up to them, but you can’t stand by and do nothing; otherwise, nothing will change.

However, also note that if your child has been cooperative for the most part and has remained calm and respectable then you may want to consider giving them 24 hours max before making a final decision as well, and in the mean time, don’t enable them in any way, shape or form. Professionals will tell you otherwise, but sometimes, we may have to give them a chance and some time to process the whole ordeal as well. Otherwise, too much pressure all at once can cause them to back out at the very end or enter treatment and leave within a few days. But again, how you handle the matter is entirely up to you and can depend on your child’s’ attitude as well. I believe in giving them chances so that they are without excuse. But if the situation is real bad, then their time is up. But every situation is different, and you’ll have to decide what’s best for yours.

However, if it does get to this point, and they leave the home without their belongings then most likely they’re going to come back that same night or the next day as well. They can’t go too long without clothing. And they may also call you back the same night or the next day apologizing as well. It happens, more often than not.
       
If they have any money at all, then it’s not going to last them for too long. If they have any friends at all, then the couch surfing is not going to last for too long as well. They’ll be back. But you can’t let them back into your home until they make a choice – until they choose the family over heroin and then submit to treatment, whatever that form of treatment may be.

And unfortunately, this is what it may come down to for a lot of parents. Yet how many chances you give them is totally up to you. And it’s also important to realize that most heroin addicts will relapse several times no matter how hard they try.

But it doesn’t mean that you have to keep accepting it as well. You can give them 3 chances for example, or what is known as the 3 strike rule: strike 1, strike 2, strike 3 you’re out. 3 failed attempts or 3 failed drug test and they’re out the door, and hopefully into inpatient treatment. You can allow them back into the home as long they begin and continue in their treatment and remain clean from heroin. (But that is totally up to you) And during this time, you can drug test them as often as you can to make sure they’re clean; because a home drug test kit for opiates is the only way to know for sure. And again, how many chances you give them is totally up to you and can become dependent upon their attitude as well.


And I do realize that in many cases, there may come a time in which you have given your child so many chances and opportunities to change and yet to no avail, and that sooner or later you may have to put your foot down and send them on their way.

If they simply don’t want to quit then their only hope may be “complete detachment”, where you tell your child; “I love you, and I really hope you’ll quit using heroin. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help you quit this drug, stay clean, and turn your life around. But you need to decide once and for all, which relationship
is more important to you. Is it your relationship with heroin or your relationship with your family? Because you can’t have both. It’s either heroin or your family.”

If they choose you, the family, then great! Help them!
     
But if they choose heroin then send them on their way. Give them the hotline or help phone number(s) from your resource list and then send them on their way.

This may be harsh, and it is, but it just might be their only hope left, and you might just very well be saving their life; because heroin addiction doesn't get better by itself. It only gets worse, if nothing is done to put on the pressure and “raise the bottom”.

“Complete detachment” is the last resort.

But for some addicts, it may become necessary just as well. And once they see how lonely it is out there, how awful it is to be away from home, then hopefully, they’ll wake up, come back home, beg for forgiveness and submit to treatment. And then proceed from there.
 
  And this is why we send them on their way; so that they can wake up and hopefully, reach out for help. We’re hoping that it never gets to this point. But if it does, then you must be willing to send them on their way; otherwise nothing will change.
   
  What if my child lives away from home?

If your child is living elsewhere, away from home, then for the most part, proceed as instructed in part 1 and part 2 of this article:
     
 
1. Gather your resources
2. Cut off all financial support
3. Contact your child
4. Explain to them their options for quitting (via email, text and by phone)
5. Give them all the contact phone numbers (via email, text and by phone)
6. Give them my website address www.HowtoQuitHeroin.com (via email, text, and by phone)
7. Walk them through everything
8. Encourage them to take action right away and then hope for the best
     
If they truly want to quit then work with them and walk them through it. If they truly have a heart felt desire to quit heroin, stay clean, and turn their lives around then help them to do so.

But if not, then start pulling back. If they keep calling you, asking for money one day, and then telling you the next day that they want to quit, then asking for more money, and then the day after that calling to chit chat as if all was well then obviously they're not serious about quitting, at least not right now. And if that be the case then the best thing to do for you and for your child would be to start pulling back.

Don't chase them, don't call them, don't text them, and don't email them anymore. You’ve already sent them all the information they need via email, text and over the phone. Now it’s up to them to put forth an effort to change. And with all of these options there is no excuse.

But if they're not serious about quitting heroin and changing their lives then start pulling back. If you've offered them help, instruction and guidance along with all of your resources and contact phone numbers and they still have not put forth a genuine effort to change, then start pulling back.

Your son or daughter should only be calling you for 2 reasons and that is to apologize for everything and to reach out for help. But if they're calling you for small talk or to ask for money, then say no, make it short, and end the conversation. If they call you and act as if all is well and nothing is wrong then keep quiet, cut it short and end the conversation.

And for some of you, it may come to the point to where it may be best to tell your child, “don’t call me unless you’re calling me because you want help to quit or you need a ride to rehab. But until then, don’t call me any more”.

But in the mean time, don’t let them get their way. Don't let them have the best of both worlds – the family and their drugs. Don't let them have heroin and the closeness of the family at the same time. It's one or the other. Otherwise, there’s a good chance that nothing will change.

They need to know and feel that all is not well and that you and your family are very hurt over the matter. And if they want to make things right then they need to choose you, the family, over heroin. They need to put forth a genuine effort to seek help and quit this drug once and for all.

Worse case scenario: If you simply can't get through to your child at all then send them a text message with my website address: www.HowtoQuitHeroin.com  That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. And then hopefully, your child will visit my website out of curiosity. From there, the rest is up to them. And anything can happen.
     
  Step 10: Hope for the best
It’s important to remember that just because he or she may have accepted your offer for help and has chosen to quit heroin - it’s not over yet. And in fact, the battle has just begun.
 
 
Over the next several weeks your child is going to go through the greatest battle of their life. With or without detox, rehab or medication, they’re still going to go through a great struggle just to stay clean. And this struggle is not only physical, but even more so mental as well.

This drug is going to be calling them back, every single day. They’re going to get hit with thoughts of using heroin, every single day. And that struggle is going to go on for a long time. But in the mean time, there are some things that you can do to help your child win the battle and stay clean for good.
 
  With your help and guidance, you can begin to lead them on 'the right path'. And in the fullest sense, the both of you will be starting your lives all over again from scratch.

In order to increase their chances of staying clean for good, you may want to start by identifying and then addressing the root(s) and cause(s) of the problem. i.e. improper or loose child raising, bad upbringing, past negative incidents, bad friends, bad music, bad TV, boredom, loneliness, bad environment etc…

Start thinking of all the reasons which may have contributed to the drug problems in the first place in order to remove the cause(s). And this is something that you can talk about with your child as well.

Write down the causes and then begin to create a step-by-step plan to deal with these causes right away.

For example: If part of the problem was due to improper or loose child raising then start all over again from scratch. Start raising your child all over again no matter how old they are.

You can become more strict and more watchful, yet more loving and compassionate as well. You can become more concerned about 'raising' and 'influencing' your child in a much more better manner. You can start showing them more love and attention and start spending more time with them. You can set new rules and guidelines within the home. And as long as your child is living under your roof then they have to abide by your rules, no matter how old they are. It’s your home, so don’t be afraid to lay down the law.

You have more control over how your child's life turns out than what you might think. You can start doing everything you can to learn proper child raising principles no matter how old they are. You can begin to retrain and influence your child in a correct and proper manner and in time they just might conform.
     
Negative or tragic events from the past may have to be dealt with as well before they can move forward in a much more positive manner. And this may require some sort of counseling.

Bad friends will have to be removed from your child's life and replaced with drug-free, family members and friends as well. Your son or daughter will have to be surrounded by caring and loving people who truly have a genuine concern for your child's welfare and recovery.

If you have a son, then you'll want to involve older, drug-free, male figures who can become a good example for your son to look up to. If you have a daughter then you'll want to involve older, decent and moral female figures to take on the big sister role.

Bad music may also have to be dealt with as well. And since music has such a powerful effect upon a persons’ behavior, attitudes, feelings, emotions, temper, actions and thoughts, then you may want to consider removing bad music from your home and replacing it with good music in order to help change and curb your child's behavior and the atmosphere as well.
    
 
A change in music is highly recommended. Words can not express how important this one key element really is.

Music is much like a drug which hardly anyone can live without.

And most likely, the music your son or daughter is listening to now has such a stronghold on them that it's just as strong as, if not stronger than the drugs themselves.

Most of today's most popular music in the genres of rap, rock and even pop is the worst thing that has ever happened to this generation and is one of the most powerful influencing factors on your child’s behavior and actions as well. And neglecting this one main factor will make it very difficult for your child to change.

They may get clean for a little while, and maybe even for good, but as long as they continue to listen to the wrong type of music then they may also continue to live a life in a series of ups and downs.
  They may stay clean from heroin permanently, but will most likely have problems in other areas of their life, especially, with their attitudes and behavior.

Music changes people. And if you change the music then you can help the person to change. Most of today's most popular music was created and purposely designed to be used as a tool for character formation, and unfortunately, of the worst kind. But it’s not just music; it’s TV as well.

Most people, especially our younger generation today, follow their idols blindly, and in time become, or try to become just like them, by imitating how they talk, how they walk, how they act, how they dress, how they live, how they sing, and everything that pertains to them including their drug use, which includes weed and some times, heroin. And many of today’s most popular music artists are some of the most immoral people in the world. Thus, character formation of the worse kind.

We are what we eat. If we eat junk food, then we become like walking junk and our performance coincides. Junk in- junk out. We are what we watch. If you watch porn all day, then eventually, you'll become a pervert, a sex addict and whatever else comes in between. And in the same sense, we are and become what we listen to the most.

“Thus, what you listen to literally forms what you become”, LDA.

Rap, hip hop, R&B, reggaeton, rock, classic rock, metal, techno, pop and alternative are some of the worst kinds of music that you or your child could be listening to due to the filthy, violent and perverted lyrics; the distorted and sometimes creepy sound; the hypnotic, pounding, negative beats; the fowl and corrupt singers; the negative energy and influence being put forth from the music; and the evil millionaires behind the record companies with their hidden agenda.

If you need proof of such then all you have to do is take a closer look at our younger generation today. They're going down hill faster than ever before and at a much younger age as well. They’ve become a product of the music and TV combined. And the end result is crime, cruelty, violence, perversion, drug addiction, immorality of the worst kind and a great lack of concern for humanity.
       
Even plants for example, a living organism, react to music. Most plants die when they hear rock-n-roll music long enough. Bean plants however, don’t die at first. After playing rock music for bean plants long enough they begin to get all mixed up and twists in the wrong direction and then eventually, die. And some plants just keel over and die.

Softies, oldies, 50's, 60's, 70’s (not classic rock), 80’s, classic country, and even some clean pop music however are some of the best and safest types of music to listen to due to the clean lyrics; the natural and clear sound; the soft beats; and for the most part, the better raised singers; the better raised people behind the music and the more positive energy and influence being put forth from the music, without a hidden agenda. I’m not saying that all of those artists from the past were saints, but at least they didn’t push sex and drugs in the manner in which many artists do today.

Good, clean music helps. Read what these x-heroin addicts had to say about music:

"you are so right man, music does effects you, a lot whenever i hear rock/metal, i remember my old days." BB (male)

UPDATE:"neither heroin nor weed, just sum cigarettes, that too, once in a month or so, liftin weights keep me sane, most of it... thanx man, i will never forget you, ever. nowadays m listening to elvis presley, frank sinatra, pavarotti etc. i listened to sum country stuf" BB (male)

"Thanks Jorge, for this really great info. I've been on a lot of addiction drug boards, and never knew some of the stuff you have written back to me. Currently, I almost feel like I can stand on 2 feet, and I have taken your advice about the valerian root. It helps a lot with the calming. And the music, i managed to actually
make a few CD's and made it through work today. I'll get those movies you recommended, I used to love to watch movies before this, and funny movies. Thanks again, great website and info...!!! JJ (male)

UPDATE: "Really like the music bit in your essay.That did work for me, listening to good music" JJ (male)

"I'm on my 8 night... I really enjoyed your website you need to let the people know that music really helps!!!!!" TC (male)

"we are now dec 27th with out any issues. again I think we are getting there, for the parents out there that want to give up don't. each time we took him a little longer in days till I now think we have done it. We have used your program as are guide and didnt give up. Guided him to find new friends, music. thank you for
putting this site up !!! We have done this with out any meds of any kind so it can be done. I will keep you posted. Thanks again." JJ (father helping son)

"Day 42 no nothing!!!!!... I can't express in words how your link helped, I also can't believe the music you recommended - now I know why people loved Elvis and 60s etc... I ain't listen to hip hop , drum n bass for a while. I hope and pray that others find your site and change their lives..." AU (male)

"...to be honest, I was really skeptical of the music thing on your page, I didn't think it could have that big of an effect. However, I decided to try it.. so i went and listened to I Will Survive. Not gunna lie, it made me cry...but in a good way, like I was smiling too. I have it on repeat right now, really uplifting (: I know
day 3 is going to be hard too.., but I'm excited to get through it and get to day 4. and then to day 30..." AB (female)
     
Good, clean, positive music helps. And good music performed by good people can make a huge difference in your child's recovery. It even helps to have the good music playing on in the background at home or in the car. You may even have to sneak the new music in carefully, but eventually it will serve its purpose.

A good parent leads by example. It’s your home and you have the right to ban any and all bad music from being played within your home. And these are not extreme measures by any means. It's just good common sense. Don't be afraid to lay down the law.

(If anyone is interested in a change of music, you can order music CD's of good, clean, decent music performed by a good, clean, decent show band called 24K Gold Music Shows. You can contact them from their website or visit them on facebook and ask them about their music CD's and DVD's. They may ship international as well.) Website: www.c24k.com  | Facebook: www.facebook.com/24KgoldMUSIC 
YouTube: www.youtube.com/24KgoldMUSICshow  | YouTube: www.youtube.com/24Kgoldmusic 


Regarding boredom and loneliness, you'll have to plan on doing everything you can to eliminate the boredom and loneliness which your son or daughter may go through during and after recovery.

Boredom and loneliness is a dangerous place to be. And it’s in those moments where they will begin to think about heroin. Your child will start thinking and dwelling upon the thoughts of using heroin and how good they used to feel because of the heroin. And if they continue to think about it long enough then just like that, they'll get up, get out and go use.

Although eventually, your child may become busy with work and/or school. But in the mean time, you may want to start planning fun and productive activities to do with your child on a continual bases. And if at all possible, try to start involving drug-free, decent, family members and friends to help keep your child busy
throughout the week.
     
For example; joining a gym with your child and/or doing some form of exercise, such as walking, jogging, running or biking, and taking long walks in the park. Walking through beautiful and natural scenic views can also help greatly as well.

You can both go hiking, site seeing; rock wall climbing; walking in the mall; shopping for even one item, a piece of clothing or a music CD; going to parks just to hang out and talk; visiting the zoo; bowling; go kart racing; horse back riding; skating; watching inspirational movies at home and any other kind of fun activities and events that you can think of. And if at any time you’re not able to accompany your son or daughter in such activities then you might want to find someone who can.

Plan wisely and then try to do as many fun activities as you can in order to keep your child's mind busy, off of heroin and on the moment at hand. Try to keep it fun and active in order to keep your child in a positive state of mind.

You'll have to counteract your child's feelings of loneliness by surrounding them with drug-free, family members and friends. Try to involve as many people as you can in your child's recovery who you know for sure are drug-free, decent people who can become positive role models for your child.

This will help them greatly, not only during recovery, but also for the many months to come. And if you're truly determined and dedicated to saving your child's life, then plan on being in this battle for the long run: 6-12 months or more.

Bad environment: Depending on how bad the situation is, and/or how close your home is to the drug spots and drug dealers, it can become very difficult for your child to stay clean in such surroundings and familiar environments. And if any difficulties should arise, then you may want to consider “relocation” as well.

Sometimes, if the user is weak and remains in their current environment, it can become very difficult to resist the urge to use. And this is also why many addicts tend to relapse within days after returning back home from inpatient, drug rehabilitation programs.

And although relocating may seem extreme to the non-user, it may become necessary for some addicts to do so if they continue to have difficulties staying clean within in their current environment. Hopefully, it won’t get to that point. But if it does, then relocation may be something to consider. And a fresh, new start in a clean and new environment may be just what your child needs to start a new and better life.
     
  To avoid any possible triggers for relapse, it would be best to write down your master recovery plan on paper and then stick to it. And if you think that some or none of the above is necessary, then think again. If you think that it’s just a matter of helping your child get clean for a few weeks and then all will be well, then think again. This stuff takes times, hard work and patience. Furthermore, your child has to really want this and do their part as well.

Experts believe that true recovery begins after the user has abstained from heroin for 1 year. And your child will be most vulnerable during the first 3 to 6 months but will still need guidance and care for the rest of the year. And during this time, it would be best to perform random drug testing at home.
     
  Surprise Random Drug Tests
During the next few months, try to purchase a home drug test for opiates and test your child often, or as often as you can afford to do so, especially during the first few weeks. This will be the best and only way of knowing for sure if your child is clean or not. But it would be best to make it a “surprise” drug test where they won’t know it’s coming.

It takes 3 to 4 days for heroin to leave the system. So if you drug test them 4 days after their last use of heroin, then the drug test results should come back negative/clean. But if the test results come back positive/dirty, then you know they’ve been using heroin within the last 3 to 4 days.
    
  And although performing random drug tests at home can become costly for some, it would still be best to do so whenever possible. It’s better to know the truth, than to not know at all.

Heroin, is not an easy drug to quit; let alone recover from. This is a process which takes time. It takes time to undo the damage and start life all over again. It takes time for the brain and the body to heal. And it takes time for the addict to retrain themselves to get used to living without heroin in their lives. But if they hang in there and keep moving forward then it will all be worth while in the end.

And if you want to save your child's life then get ready for a long hard battle, and be prepared to win. For more information on how your child can stay clean for good, please see my article, “How to Quit Heroin and Stay Clean for Good”.

Heroin addiction is the absolute worst drug addiction in the world, destroying the will of man, and thus making it difficult for this drug to be beat. But the truth is, there are people who quit heroin and turn their lives around. And your child can become one of those who do so as well. And you can help make that dream possible by doing everything you can to help them.

Whatever you do, don't give up, and don't give up on your child now. Anything can happen, and anything can change. So don't lose hope yet.

And from here on out, your most famous words to your son or daughter will be, “You can do this... You can do this”. You can begin to brainwash your child with these words in a kind and loving manner to the point to where they actually start believing that they really CAN do this. They CAN whip this thing and turn their life around, once and for all!

Words move people. Words backed by love and positive emotions, move, inspire and motivate people to do the seemingly impossible.
     
Remember: This is a fight - a fight for the lives of your children. So plan wisely and then execute your plan with full force. And whatever you do, don't slow down now. Keep pressing on and keep moving forward. And try your best to show nothing but love, kindness, and compassion to your child. Just as the song says, Love Can Build a Bridge: www.youtube.com/watch

You can do this. You can begin to influence your child to at least start thinking and moving in the right direction. You can try your very best to lead your son or daughter on 'the right path'.

Nothing is guaranteed. And I can’t tell you for sure whether your child is going to make it or not. No one can. But we can’t just stand by and do nothing. We must do everything we can to help our children quit heroin, stay clean and turn their life around, once and for all! And we must be willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

You have more control over how your child's life turns out than what you might think. And you can make a difference in their life, starting now.

Good luck. And may the good force be with you.
      
 
 
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